Lost links & Re-ups

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Slinging tuneage like some fried or otherwise soused short-order cook

15 October 2008

Reprinted without permission from SN&R


On the surface, it all seems fine. But that's how it usually works, right? You're chugging along, trying to mind your own business, until you suddenly realize something is broken underneath...or at least cracking.

Let's imagine, like me, you're living your life, happily reflecting on all the progress with women's rights & environmentalism. Oops! Watch your step. You stumble, look down & notice some cracks. Nasty stuff seeps through, making you wonder how deep the cracks go. All of a sudden, you're frightened.

Because you sincerely want to understand other people's motivations, no matter how twisted, you pause to play a hypothetical game. Here's how it works: You board a small plane, track a wolf through the snow in Alaska's wilderness, giddy at the poor animal's growing exhaustion. When the creature appears sufficiently weak, you land the aircraft, walk up & shoot it, point-blank. In the head, of course. You wouldn't want to ruin the fur pelt, which you'll smooth down on the living-room floor, taking pleasure in knowing that when God created every single animal & plant species 6,000 years ago, he put people smack-dab at the top of the pack so we could justifiably ravage the natural world & viciously kill all the lowly creatures below us.

What, this game doesn't sound fun?

But we're talking about vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's belief system, which isn't scary, right? Sure, she doesn't see a moral dilemma with aerial hunting, a practice banned by the federal government under the Airborne Hunting Act of 1972, & she'll sue the Interior Department to prevent the polar bear from being listed as a threatened species. Yes, she'll allow the Chevron Corporation to triple the amount of toxic waste it dumps into the Cook Inlet, where the endangered beluga whale swim.

Perhaps she's too busy fantasizing about drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge & denying evolution & the role people play in global warming to care about, you know, how temperatures are forcing Inupiaq Eskimo villages in northern Alaska to sink slowly into the sea.

You want to smile & mind your own business, you really do. But the surface doesn't feel so smooth anymore, & there's that nasty stuff reaching through in the form of a woman who doesn't support sex education, a mother who'd make a teenage girl bear the child of her rapist.

If Palin becomes vice president, it will be a joke so perverse that feminists & environmentalists will likely break down & sob, leaving conservatives to laugh & say, "Oh, look how silly the bleeding-heart liberals are!"

But environmentalists haven't worked tirelessly to protect the natural world for Palin to wreak havoc. Nor have thousands of feminists spent the past 100 years struggling for equality & respect & civil rights & less misogyny & more political power & control over our own bodies so that goddamned Sarah Palin could go down in history books as the first woman to be vice president.

Sena Christian
senac@newsreview.com

4 comments:

  1. Yes. Palin is a scary, tiresome bitch, all right. Jimmy from "Me, Myself & Motorhead" filled me in some time back as to her policies on "culling". As I said elsewhere, It would be quite appropriate to dangle her from a helicopter - by her pantyhose - as live bait.

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  2. on january 21st, my first act as president will be to set mrs. palin loose in the alaskan wilderness and hunt her down from my vantage point in a helicopter.
    i will then field strip her and feed her to a bunch of hungry baby wolves.

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  3. nazz,

    you got my vote. i just want pictures.

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  4. Good riddance to the Alaskan hick - who pardons a turkey and talks to the media while in the background, turkeys' heads are being lopped off. But it's okay, Jesus loves her.

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