Dewey the Freak

UPDATE: This post was re-uploaded 09/07/2013. Enjoy, NØ.
 
Dewey used to work as a freak in a sideshow at the Carnival.

When Dewey was still a young lad he got all bent out of shape. He started wearing his heart on his sleeve. He had a crush on a cheerleader, but she crushed him instead. She gave him the cold shoulder. Since then he’s had ice water in his veins.

He’d taken to saying that beauty was only skin deep, but he could really get under your skin. He’s such a bare bones kinda guy.

He got a job in the sideshow when the Carnies noticed he was pig-headed & two faced. He was a bald faced liar having a bad hair day. He had a big mouth but he was armed to the teeth. He was always biting off more than he could chew. He often spoke with a forked tongue, but he was always getting tongue-tied, except when the cat got his tongue. He was incredibly thick headed. He had mud in his eye & egg on his face. He used to keep his nose to the grindstone, but the pain was unbearable so he cut off his nose to spite his face. His eyes are bigger than his stomach.

Ever since the cheerleader fiasco, Dewey had butterflies in his stomach. His stomach was tied in knots. He was busting a gut. He had a bug up his butt. He had an ace in the hole. He was ass backwards & had ants in his pants.

His left hand didn't know what his right hand was doing. That’s why all the time he’d be getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Then he’d offer to give you a hand but he’d be all thumbs.

After that, the Carnies gave him an earful. Dewey was all ears. Even with a frog in his throat, his mouth was writing checks his body couldn’t cash.

When he lost his job at the Carnival, he really had his back against the wall. He didn’t have a leg to stand on & he was getting cold feet. Even though he had two left feet he felt like he was getting off on the wrong foot. He tried to tell his brother Hewey, they were joined at the hip, but he put his foot in his mouth. He felt like he had one foot on a banana peel & the other in the grave.

His brother split. He said Dewey had changed. He had a stick up his ass nowadays.

All of Dewey’s friends will tell you...he’s a real freak. He’s a walking cliche.

King Blank – The Real Dirt, Situation Two – SITU 21, 1988.
decryption code in comments

Side A -

Howl Upside Down
Blind Box
The Real Dirt
Big Pink Bang
Guilty as Hell


Side B -

Map of Pain
Shot Full of Holes
Killer in the Rain
Uptight
Bulletproof Crucifix

King Blank is: Ian Lowery - vocals; Kris Jozajtis - electric guitar & backing vocals;
Nigel Pulsford - guitar & keyboards; Hugh Garrety - bass; & Kevin Rooney - drums.

Enjoy,
NØ